WEP: ’There was once a chance I didn’t take.’

August WEP taking chances1’There was once a chance I didn’t take.’    http://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.ca/

Well, that was years ago. I used to live behind a mask. For years, people, even friends, didn’t see the real me. I would not allow it. The risk of revealing my woundedness bordered on expulsion from society. Only the pretty and the strong have a place within the inner circle. I knew the pain of being shunned for being different. What was different about me?

DSCF2269

Years went by. I watched the pretty people enjoy invitations to parties, dances with the handsome boy, teacher’s favorite. I stood on the sidelines. Waited for the other misfits to notice me. How could they? I wore the mask, said nothing. Life carried on in an eternal shade of grey. Would I ever take off the mask? I couldn’t take that chance. Safe within my artificial world, I carried on as if it didn’t really matter. But then, something magical happened.

Smith's-1

I discovered I had something few others had – an enormous capacity for courage to help others in need. Not just everyday need. No. These people needed a champion to rush in and fight their battle with death. Suddenly, I knew I had found my people in the ambulance, fire and police service. My need for the mask wavered. I was needed. Not just for my skill and training but for my genuine ability to relate to their need for caring and compassion.

ambulance day

Soon I wanted more out of life. I wanted to take chances, continually push the boundaries of my abilities further into the unknown. I wanted to live life to the fullest. Be all that I could be. Suddenly, the risk of failure provided the adrenalin that made me want to risk it all. The mask fell.

Shotover River x-1 Athabasca ^1982 3 days, nearly drowned-1

snowmobile mama 1-1I wasted so many years, chances missed, because I falsely believed I couldn’t or shouldn’t. I shrank with the cruel opinions of others.

I wonder how often I still put on the mask, unconsciously. Don’t we all put on a mask at least some of the time?

Now hop on over to my fellow bloggers participating in WEP’s Missed Chances.
Garden at blue house 1994 x-1

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “WEP: ’There was once a chance I didn’t take.’

  1. This was very beautiful Feather Stone. The story was enhanced by the pictures. Most of us wear a mask from time to time, but it feels good to come out from behind, doesn’t it?

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

    Denise

    Like

  2. Once we find out what we want in life or we achieve confidence to get what we want the mask is not needed every day. Love the way you enhanced it with your photos.

    Like

  3. I do believe we sometimes wear a mask to prevent others from seeing what we want to keep to ourselves: what we perceive as our weakness, or inability to ‘fit in’. I was like that when younger. Now I seldom need the mask, unless my emotions are in turmoil.

    Another interesting perspective on the challenge. Nice to know someone like you is in the emergency field. My hubs had a heart attack and the paramedics and fire dept that came saved his life as I watched. He was taken to the hospital I requested which was a Cardiac centre. He is recovering slowly but I retain great hope. Thanks for being one of those saviours.

    Like

  4. Thank you, DG. I loved being a paramedic. Sometimes, I believed that I was a witness to miracles. Sometimes a casualty would overcome major injuries in part due to the emergency service team members, but also in part due to the victim’s own desire to live and, perhaps, something more. I considered it an honour to receive my patient’s trust and become an integral part of his/her life.

    Like

  5. Yes practically everyone hides at least some of the time. It is a defense mechanism for some, I suppose. Finding your calling in life is a great thing when it happens. I feel like I finally accepted mine by facing my fears. Enjoy life!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s